"How Many Claymates Are Needed To Change a Lightbulb?"

How Many Claymates Are Needed To Change a Lightbulb?
Clayboard Edition

The Clayboard's minisoda has posted this hilarious post, answering the question "How many group poster does it take to change the light bulb". If you recall, the CB had a similar discussion in 2003.

We thought it was cute, so we're bringing it over.

From the CB's minisoda:

I gotta say when I read this, I thought about the Clayboard. Mods, if I put this on the wrong sub-board, please move it accordingly! Thanks and enjoy!

How many group posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has
been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and
how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about
changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper
term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and
that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are
in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to
please take this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be
stopped

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use
light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is
superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of
light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are
faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then
post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are
relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to
this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety
including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because
they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from
now and start it all over again....

Here is the 2003 edition lightbulb post (author unknown, e-mail me if it's you)

How many Clay fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001...

1 to change the light bulb and post it to the group that the bulb has been changed.

14 to respond and share similar experiences.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

12 who claim that they wanted to change the light bulb, but couldn't get backroom passes.

24 to acclaim that this is the best performing light bulb, ever, in the history of light bulbs.

2 'fans' who claim that they really, really love the light bulb, but question the 'kind of light' that it puts out.

2 trolls who claim that they know the light bulb personally, and that the light bulb would be shocked if it saw what we were saying about it.

51 people to tell the trolls that if they don't like the light bulb, why on earth do they post on the light bulb thread?

2 to point out spelling errors and grammatical errors in postings about changing light bulbs.

3 to flame the spell-checkers.

11 to write reviews of how effective and efficient the light bulb changer was.

1 to inform the others about how if you hold the light bulb up to the light just right, you can see the filament.

29 people to offer advice on how to best photograph the light bulb and demanding to see a little more filament.

2 people who share that they go to sleep at night staring into the bulb's light.

4 creative people to create cute emoticons of the light bulb dancing, singing and 'stripping', etc.

6 people who fill up their post with 50 light bulb emoticons thudding to the floor.

26 who beg for the link to the video of the light bulb being changed.

87 people who want to see the light bulb put on the short, tight green tee-shirt.

93 people who want to see the light bulb rip the short, tight green tee-shirt off.

11 people counting the number of tugs, yanks and deep knee bends it took to change the light bulb.

15 to argue whether the light bulb should be 'soft white', a 'black lite', or the new GE 'Reveal' bulb.

10 people who want to see the light bulb run its fingers through its threads.

4 people to explain the best way to examine the shadow cast by the light bulb.

1 who screams,"OMG OMG OMG! What is that move??" everytime the light bulb flickers.

3 who swear that the light bulb winked at them! (and only them!)

11 who want to know what's going on between the light bulb and that socket.

9 who wonder what the light bulb meant when it said, "Ahm screwed!"

7 to ask moderators to lock the thread because of the 'Ahm screwed’ controversy.

56 who want to know when the light bulb will be allowed to dump the lampshade and shine on its own.

21 who speculate on how long the light bulb will last.

36 who speculate on how long the light bulb's filament will 'l a s t '.

43 who wonder if the light bulb hangs to the left or to the right.

1 to start a campaign to write RCA to let them know how to best handle our light bulb's (OLB) career.

2 people to keep us updated on the light bulb sales ranking on Amazon.com.

27 to post website addresses where one can read articles or see photos about the light bulb.

14 to complain that the website addresses are incorrect and post correct ones.

3 to post progress reports on the campaign to write RCA to let them know how to best handle our light bulb's career.

17 to hit the panic button when our light bulb (OLB) starts to drop in the "which do you prefer, incandescent, hallogen, flourescent, or candlelight, poll!

20 who post that they can't help crying every time they even see the lightbulb.

37 who say they liked the light bulb before it was changed.

37 who say the light bulb definitely 'glows' brighter after it was changed.

42 who tell everyone to stop being so hard on OLB, because it has had a very grueling few months and has given us its all.

12 "bumpers" bumping because the light bulb topic needs to stay on page 1.

1 who complains that there are too many threads on the subject of changing light bulbs.

44 to write to the administrator to complain about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to the group.

118 to defend the relevance of the light bulb discussion.

11 to "leave the group forever" because they can't handle the
light bulb controversy .

1 to ask "What is the light bulb discussion all about-- did I miss something?"